The Great American Sycophant-Off
The echo chamber: yes-men and the Emperor's first 100 days
Much has been made of the fact that Donald Trump’s sole qualification for his Cabinet members is loyalty (defn: faithfulness to commitments or obligations].
I do not believe that to be accurate. I don’t even believe the correct word is “fealty” (defn: the obligation or the engagement to be faithful to a lord, usually sworn to by a vassal).
What Trump demands is abject subjugation (defn: the act, fact, or process of subjugating, or bringing under control; enslavement), as the following two Cabinet meetings from his current and 1st administrations make clear.
[A few words of clarification: unlike my last article, which was clearly a fictional, satirical rendering of “Donnie Two Dolls” conducting an imaginary meeting with his Cabinet members, the following comments are 100% factual. I have to say that because if anything, they seem even more surreal than the fictional ones].
Current Term
Just a day after President Trump backtracked on a disastrous tariff policy that sent global markets into turmoil [April 30 2025], cabinet members lined up to massage the president’s ego with sycophantic language that would make North Korean newsreaders blush.
It was unclear if a memo had been sent around or if Trump’s cabinet members are just beginning to understand what was required of them, but each followed suit and sprinkled their contributions with gratitude for his leadership.
Attorney General Pam Bondi
“President, your first 100 days has far exceeded that of ANY other presidency in this country. Ever. Ever. Never seen anything like it. Thank you. You were overwhelmingly elected by the biggest majority. The Americans want you to be president because of your agenda, and the courts are ruling that you have the authority to determine how the money of this country will be spent. That's what the American citizens wanted, and that's what they're getting.”
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent
“Sir, it’s been a momentous 100 days with you at the helm. And I view this 100 days as setting the table for peace deals, trade deals, tax deals, the next 100 days we’ll be harvesting.
EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin
“Today is a special day for many reasons. The biggest reason why we’re here is that this is the 100th day of the most consequential, historic first 100 days in the history of this country.”
Interior Secretary Doug Burgum
“Everybody I’ve met, whether it’s at a coal mine or the border, law enforcement, the one thing they say is please thank President Trump from all of us — the change that you’re making.”
Special Advisor Elon Musk
“You know, the American people voted for secure borders, safe cities, and sensible spending. And that’s what they’ve gotten. Tremendous amount has been accomplished in the first 100 days. As everyone has said, it’s more than has been in any administration before, ever, period. So this portends very well for what will happen for the rest of the administration. I think this could be the greatest administration since the founding of the country.”
Chief of Staff Susie Wiles
“Congratulations to everyone on a hundred days that’s been unparalleled in my memory — and the best I can tell ever. But it hasn’t been busy for busy’s sake. The President’s promises made to the American people have been kept time and time and again.”
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth
“Mr. President, you inherited a demoralized military that couldn’t recruit, that was perceived as weak after what happened in Afghanistan and elsewhere because of Joe Biden. And what we have seen since your election and the inauguration has been nothing short of a recruiting renaissance. Decades, it has been decades since we’ve seen this kind of recruiting in the Army, the Navy, the Marine Corps, the Air Force, the men and women of America want to join the United States military led by President Donald Trump.”
Detailed Army plans for a potential military parade on President Donald Trump’s birthday in June call for more than 6,600 soldiers, at least 150 vehicles, 50 helicopters, seven bands and possibly a couple thousand civilians, The Associated Press has learned.
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick
“They [the mythical, many as-yet unnamed nations are trying to negotiate new trade deals with the United States] have come with offers that they never, ever, ever would have come with but for the moves that the President has made, demanding that people treat the United States with respect. We're getting the respect we deserve now. You got rid of de minimis, and what happened is these foreign countries were sending in little packages for free and knocking out our mom-and-pop businesses across America. You put an end to it, and you’re going to rebuild the mom and the pop and the small business of America, you’re their president, and I’m proud to support you.”
National Security Advisor Mike Waltz
“Mr. President, in the last four years, the world experienced a total lack of zero leadership under Biden (sic), and then we’ve had 100 days of your leadership. With respect, with strength, starting with there’ll be all hell to pay if you don’t let our people go. Dozens, over 40 Americans have come home under your leadership.”
Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
“Mr. President, I want to thank you for your leadership, for giving me the 100 busiest days of my life and most exciting and most rewarding and there’s over the next 100 days we’re going to do much, much more.”
Secretary of State Marco Rubio
“Mr. President, one of the most important things I believe you’ll achieve in your presidency is reordering the world in a proper way. For 31 years, more than 31 years now, multiple administrations have allowed the Chinese to deindustrialize this country, to take away jobs and factories and pillars of our national strength. And what you’re doing now, I think, is a great service to our country, but ultimately to the world. Thank you for the honor to be able to serve alongside you.”
Vice President JD Vance
“You sit in the Oval Office and you see these portraits of Presidents past. And let’s be honest, most of them have been placeholders, they’ve been people who have allowed their staff to sign executive orders with an auto pen instead of men of action. And the reason the media attacks this administration as chaotic is because the President is solving the problems the American people set about to solve. He’s actually doing the things that he promised that he would do. And Mr. President, it’s been an honor to be part of it for the past 100 days.”
Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins
“I think that what you have assembled in your vision is a turning point and an inflection point in American history. And so just being a part of that is the greatest honor.”
Head of the Small Business Administration, Kelly Loeffler
"Mr. President, on behalf of America's manufacturers, I want to thank you for standing up to the Chinese communist party and fighting for our main streets, for our workers ... Main Street is grateful for you.”
“The Daily Show” host Jon Stewart ripped into President Trump’s “embarrassingly sycophantic” cabinet members.
“When I watch those cabinet meetings, I actually think – are they making fun of him? It’s so over the top! ”
“Your d–k is so big we can barely lift it, because it’s covered in real gold, not the paint, real gold!” he mocked, in a dig at Trump’s Oval Office, which has been filled to the brim with gold decorations, and then aired a clip of Trump showing off the new gold artifacts to Fox News host Laura Ingraham.
“Throughout the years, people have tried to come up with a gold paint that would look like gold and they have never been able to do it. Look at that, look,” Trump told Ingraham, as he pointed to a solid-gold cherub. “You’ve never been able to match gold with gold paint. That’s why it’s gold.”
Trump’s First Term
Such Trump Cabinet meetings are nothing new. Early in his first term, Trump went around the table and called on each member of his Cabinet to praise him.
Vice President Mike Pence
"It is the greatest privilege of my life to serve as Vice President to a president who is keeping his word to the American people."
Reince Priebus (Chief of Staff)
"We thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you've given us to serve your agenda and the American people."
Tom Price (Secretary of Health and Human Services)
"I can’t thank you enough for the privilege you’ve given me and the leadership that you’ve shown."
Elaine Chao (Secretary of Transportation)
“I want to thank you for getting this country moving again and for your strong commitment to infrastructure.”
Jeff Sessions (Attorney General)
“It’s an honor to be able to serve you in this role and to send the exact right message...”
TV comedian Stephen Colbert referred to the meeting as the "pilot episode of America's Next Top Sycophant. Honestly, this is next-level weird; this is an unprecedented public stroke-fest for an emotionally frail man."
Meanwhile, in Pyongyang
North Korean media frequently refers to Kim Jong Un as the "Great Leader" or "Supreme Leader," emphasizing his absolute authority.
State media produces material that portrays him as having exceptional wisdom and abilities, capable of solving any problem.
North Korean media consistently highlights Kim Jong Un's leadership of the military, often exaggerating the nation's military strength and his strategic genius.
Statements are produced that promote the idea that Kim Jong Un is a military mastermind.
State media emphasizes the importance of unwavering loyalty and devotion to Kim Jong Un and the ruling party.
The media displays images of citizens showing extreme emotional responses to Kim Jong Un's public appearances.
North Korean propaganda frequently touts the countries self reliance, and that Kim Jong Un is the leader that allows for this self reliance.